Welcome to The-Turds.co.uk
Welcome to the all new un official turds website The-turds.co.uk. We hope you like the new site! If you have any problems finding the turds you want please give us a call 0844 884 9779. 
A history lesson on the turds
You may be surprised to learn that the Turd world was the idea of a great lady called Vanessa Smith and what better place to have an idea of selling poo but on the loo on a winters night in 2001!
Can you imagine going into a high street bank with a business plan to sell Turds? I am guessing they did not do it on April the 1st. Even though the bank manager probably thought it was at first.
But now 5-6 years down the line The Turds have taken the world by storm, you can now see the turds being sold in Australia, America, UK and the rest of Europe.
What has made something so disgusting to some people so popular with tens of thousands of people around the world? Well if you ask me I think it's a combination of things:
- The great names. Many of which we know and love from day to day life.
- The humour. We all know a lazy sh*t or a dumb sh*t at work or at school.
- The fact that every one has its own little story that helps link it into the Turd world.
- The fact that there is not another collectible gift like it.
- The detail that goes into the caricatures
- Finally, and almost best of all, the look on your face as you open the box of your first turd if you have never heard of them before. (I know it looks great as I still remember the look on my dads face when he read ‘The turds’ on the box, at first he wondered what the hell I had given him!!)
The turds over the years.
In 2003 we saw the first 7 turds born. We had 2 special editions and 5 standard turds.
In the special editions we had The Bogfather and The Rim Reaper.
In the standard edition figurines we had Holy Sh*t, Deep Sh*t, Floater, Fudgepacker and Sh*tFaced.
In 2004 we saw 11 new turds and the introduction of the limited editions.
In the limited edition we had Hannibal Lecturd.
In the special edition we had The Turdinator, Very Good Sh*t and Lord Of The Rims.
In the standard figurines we had Adolf Sh*tler, Dumb Sh*t, Lazy sh*t, Plop Idol, Sh*t Faced, Shat the Ripper, Sh*t Stirrer, Turtlehead and The Bogfather.
In 2005 we saw 20 more new turds introduced to the Turd world.
In the limited edition we had Freddy Pooger, Smell Boy and The Andrix.
In the special edition we had Arse Bandit, Fart Vapour and Predaturd.
In the standard figurines we had Ape Sh*t, Bag of Sh*t, Bird Sh*t, Count Crapula, Jack Sh*t, Mr Brown, No Sh*t Sherlock, Nutty, Richard the turd, Sh*t Hot, Shatman, Steamin, Sloppy Sh*t, Tough Sh*t, Holy Sh*t and Deep Sh*t.
In 2006 and possibly the best year yet we had 22 new turds.
In the limited edition we had James pong.
In the special edition we had Rimbo, Smell Raiser, Dr Poo and Roboplop.
In the standard figurines we had Gob Sh*t, Julius Squeezer, Log on, Lucky Sh*t, Little Sh*t, Old Fart, Pebble Dash, Ring Peace, Sh*t For Brains, Smart Arse, Smellvis, Tight Arse, Whifty Scent, Bravefart, Cack Sparrow, Strain Pooney and Strain Pooney away kit.
Below are the people that have made the turds into the great collectable product that we know and love today. For more up to date information on the team have a look at the official turds website
Mr X Creative Guru
Unknown to the world this man lives in the darkness of the basement and only comes up for air now and again. He is not human, he cannot be negotiated with, and he will not stop. Mr X is a workaholic and the backbone of The Turd World, creating many of the ideas, characters and storylines behind Bog Central. A very shy man for all the right reasons due to being so ugly (joke), he is happy to stay in the shadows - not like the rest of these ego manic twats who would nick the lampshade from their Grandmother's bedside cabinet to get into the limelight.
Paul 'Cheeky Cockney' Cherry Licensing Development Director & Co Founder of Pacemaker UK
Look at me with me 'shiny-shoes smile'. Smug git. Well, all credit to Paul, I don't blame him, after giving up his marketing career to help set up the company and going through some pretty tough times. Fair game, the boy did well. Paul is our product guy who takes Mr X's ideas and makes them happen. He also has the dangerous task of working with Mad John, who is best buddies with Mr X. At feeding time Paul has to go down to the basement and feed these creative animals. (Paul is also a cockney twat who supports West Ham and loves big hair rock.)
Huw 'Magnifico' Davis Head of Visual Development
Huw has some amazing talents, one of those is being the only man I know who can make a deadline disappear. Apart from driving me nuts, he is bloody good at what he does and is the visual creator of the Turds. Apart from drawing Huw enjoys travelling between the States and UK working on our animation projects and is a bit of a nomad. Huw's latest ambition is to be on the stage in Las Vegas with his performing whelks from Brighton-on-Sea.
John 'Mad' Noble New Product Development Manager
John, or to his friends 'Mad John' (contrary to popular belief John's not mad he's just drawn that way), is the physical creator of The Turds. The Turds wouldn't be the same without "that Johnny magic" just ask Mr X. The very definition of that little something extra and axe wielding maniac John can turn Sh*t into a Hit. He IS Frankensh*te. If you see this man, do not approach him as he is potentially dangerous to himself and others.
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